Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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