i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
