Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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