the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
