She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
