For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
