I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
