that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
