I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
