well you can't waste a boner
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
