i permit you to call me
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
