Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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