Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
