you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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