I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
