Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
