can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
