ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
