Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
