People with herpes should wear stickers.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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