I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
