Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
