alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
