I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
