i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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