Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
