we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
