i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
