Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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