Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
