bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
