My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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