We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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