I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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