i just had sex bonerless
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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