He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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