wakey wakey hands off snakey
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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