This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
