Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
