Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
