theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
