Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
