Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
