i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
