I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she looked like the before picture.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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