how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
