cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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