u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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