I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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