she looked like the before picture.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
