How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
