You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
